


The Blame Game (and Other Pastimes)

by SquirrelNo2



Series: Instrument of Chaos [4]
Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV 2020)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-23
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:48:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27166828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SquirrelNo2/pseuds/SquirrelNo2
Summary: It is never your fault when somebody else hurts you. Sometimes, it takes a loved one reminding you of that to help you believe it.
Relationships: Alex/Willie (Julie and The Phantoms), Julie Molina/Luke Patterson/Reggie
Series: Instrument of Chaos [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1953958
Comments: 118
Kudos: 233





	1. Julie and Ray

**Author's Note:**

> This is not one of the big fics, but it is multiple chapters unlike part two in the series. If you haven't read Phantom Singular or its sequels, the things our heroes are dealing with probably won't make a lick of sense. You can read on, if you don't require context for your emotional snuggles, but I would not recommend it.  
> (Also secretly we're catching up with the dream team, because I'm never letting that go! Each chapter is one of them with somebody else helping them out, and you can probably guess who by the character tags.)  
> This chapter brought to you by: my dramatic and unhealthy refusal to cry when I need to.

Julie's dad kept a close eye on her after the night at Caleb's club. Julie didn't mind. It was kind of reassuring.

Still, he was a dad, which meant sometimes the observation and insight got annoying.

"Something has been bothering you," her dad said one evening, sitting beside her on the couch. "You're still worried about that... Caleb?"

"He can't hurt us," Julie said. She knew that much in her bones.

"Then why do you get so upset when you think nobody is looking?"

"Do I?" Julie asked. Her dad nodded, and she groaned.

"Talk to me, honey," he said, wrapping his arms around her. "I may not have ghost powers, but I'm your dad. I can still help _you._ "

"I know, Dad," Julie said. She sighed and leaned her head on his shoulder. "I feel like... Like I should have done more. I should have known about Nick, or helped the ghosts at the club - if I'd known what I could do, I could have helped everybody escape Caleb before we owed him! We wouldn't have this... truce year."

"What did you owe him?" her dad asked gently. "How did that happen?"

"Please don't be mad," Julie said. "I should have told you, but I thought it would upset you, and that it wouldn't really matter."

" _Mija,_ I protect you, not the other way around," her dad said, sounding incredibly sad. "Tell me."

So Julie told him, about meeting Ava and Caleb's favour, right up to watching Luke and Alex and Reggie take that first deadly bite.

"Julie," her dad murmured. Julie's sight started to blur, and she tried to blink away her tears. She only succeeded in sending them rolling down her face. "Oh, honey. You've been carrying so much guilt with you, haven't you?"

"And now, with this magic," Julie croaked, "if it's the reason people can see the guys then that means it's my fault Caleb ever wanted them in the first place!"

"Julie, we don't know that," her dad said. "Would you trade your band, all your friends and the music you make together, for the _chance_ that you're right and Caleb wouldn't come after them?"

"Yes!" Julie exclaimed. Then she remembered Luke, half-dead for a second time and telling her that she mattered more to him than music in general. She remembered Reggie refusing to let Flynn save him, because he didn't want to leave her. She remembered reading that adult Alex had never gone onstage again after Sunset Curve broke up, and Flynn insisting to Julie that she didn't mind missing out on Double Trouble, so long as she never had to miss out on being Julie's best friend.

"No," Julie said. "It's not what they would want."

"You never hurt anybody," her dad said softly. "Not your Phantoms, not Willie and his friends - Caleb and that other ghost, Ava, they did. You stood up for them, and you saved them. And maybe I'm being selfish, but I am so glad you have your band, because I hate the thought of a world where it took you even a day longer to come back to me. I can't stand missing the daughter who's right in front of me."

Julie nodded as she drew in a trembling breath.

"It's not your fault," Julie's dad said. "Say it, please."

"It's not my fault," Julie repeated dutifully. "But, Dad -"

"Say it again."

"I know you got this from Dr. Turner," Julie accused him. Her dad smiled at her, waiting.

"It's not my fault," Julie said.

"Keep telling yourself that until you believe it," her dad said. He kissed her on the top of her head. "And then every day after, because it's true. And me, Flynn, your band... We love you, and we need you to know it's ok. Nobody blames you, _mija_ , nobody but you, and you need to be kind to yourself and let it go."

Julie started to cry in earnest, loud in a way she hadn't been since she first learned they'd lose her mom. A part of her wondered at that. She'd thought, until this point, that she'd cried so often she didn't have enough left in her to cry like this.

Her dad pulled her close, and she buried her face in his shirt. He didn't try to quiet her or calm her; he just kept rubbing her back.

Finally, the sobs trailed off into hiccups, and Julie lifted her head. Her chest felt like it had been cracked open and cleaned out. For the first time in weeks, Julie was ready to breathe easily.


	2. Reggie and Luke

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's hard being the silly one.

Luke found Reggie lying on his back on the couch, picking listlessly at his bass.

"What's with you?" he asked. Reggie sat up long enough for Luke to sit, then leaned against Luke's side. He plucked a particularly discordant couple of notes.

"What is this, your experimental phase? Dude, talk to me."

Reggie shook his head.

"It's silly," he said.

Luke frowned. He knew this mood.

"This isn't about the street dogs, is it?"

Reggie twisted around to stare at him.

"Why would - oh."

Luke and Reggie stared at each other, not quite sure what to do with this. The Reggie that Luke remembered after they'd died wasn't quite the Reggie he'd started dating. He was pretty sure Reggie's brain was moving along the same lines.

Reggie broke the impromptu staring contest by leaning his back against Luke once more.

"I guess... It's kind of about that," Reggie said. "Why was it me, you know? Not the - the street dogs. Caleb tricked me, and we would've died anyway. But why'd Ava decide..."

He set his bass down gently and pulled his knees to his chest. Luke turned towards Reggie, pulling him against Luke's chest.

"It's like everybody thinks I'm a weak link," he said. "Everybody thinks I need protecting. Ava thought I was more interesting dead than alive."

"Whoa, hey," Luke said, alarmed. He reached an arm around Reggie and held his hand. "You know you're important, right? To the band? And me and Julie?"

"I know," Reggie said. "And I know you and Julie and our friends know. But what is it about me that says the rest of the world doesn't get it? If I was more normal would Ava have bothered? People treat me like a mascot."

Luke tried not to flinch. Had he ever made Reggie feel that way? He wouldn't do it on purpose, but Luke didn't always think things through when he said them...

 _Focus. Reggie._ Luke pressed his head to the back of Reggie's. He wasn't really any good with emotions that didn't have a chord progression to go with them, but this was Reggie. He deserved Luke's best effort.

"Look, I don't have any answers about getting people to take you seriously," Luke said. "And forget normal, ok? Seeing you every day, that's my normal, and I _really_ hope it's clear I like it that way. We're all together and Ava's got nothing, so who cares what she thinks?"

Reggie turned slightly, still curled up on the couch but now letting Luke see part of his face. He rotated his hand in Luke's grip, pressing their palms together.

"Reggie, if I ever said anything..."

"No, hey," Reggie said. "Dude, we play music together. I know that's reserved for the people you really care about. I know you."

Julie and Alex entered, faltering when they saw Luke and Reggie curled up together. Luke jerked his chin silently at the drumset, and Alex whispered in Julie's ear before sitting down. She smiled and wasted no time sneaking over to the piano.

An upbeat tune filled the studio. Reggie lifted his head to look at Julie, and Luke hastily freed his arm and called his guitar to him. Alex started to jam with Julie, and Luke waited a second more to figure out Julie's chords before he jumped in.

"You're trying to cheer me up," Reggie accused.

"Come on, don't tell me it's not working," Luke teased. Reggie rolled his eyes, but he was bouncing along to the tune.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter brought to you by that feeling when you're neurodivergent but nobody ever bothered to acknowledge it in your youth. Whoo, projection!  
> Also. "This Band Is Back" is so obviously the kind of thing they just. Do. This is how they cheer Reggie up. I'm right about this.  
> I'm tossing around a few ideas for the next chapter, so the tags are subject to change a little; Flynn's section is next, and written, but I don't know if I'm happy with it yet. We shall see!


	3. Flynn and Nick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flynn never needed many friends, so long as she had Julie. Or, at least, that's what she insists when people ask.

Flynn wasn’t expecting her first glimpse of Nick post-possession to be at a show, but there he was, waving at her while Julie explained to the event organisers that no, she didn’t need any special tech concerns, her holograms really did come from that tiny portable projector. Flynn wondered if maybe they should have invested in something a little sleeker in order to sell the lie.

“When did you get out of the hospital?” Flynn asked.

“Thursday,” Nick admitted. “My parents kept me home yesterday, but I heard Julie was performing and I wanted…” He laughed awkwardly. “I don’t know, to remind myself it was all real?”

“How are you doing?” Flynn asked. He looked better, at least. When she’d helped him out of the hotel, it had taken all her energy to keep him upright.

“Fine,” he said. “Actually, Flynn… I wanted to know how you’re doing.”

Flynn laughed nervously.

“What? Why? I’m not the one who got possessed!” She punched him on the shoulder in an effort to be playful. He hissed, and she cringed.

“Sorry,” she said.

“It’s fine,” Nick said, rubbing the spot. “Seriously, Flynn – I don’t remember a lot of that night, I was _really_ out of it, but you said some stuff that got me worried.”

Flynn frantically wracked her brain. Her smile was stiff on her face.

“What are you talking about?” she said through numb lips.

The truth was, Flynn didn’t know _what_ she’d said to Nick that night. It was a blur of adrenaline and anxiety and the barely-staved-off feeling that Flynn was useless to Julie. She knew what kind of things she’d probably said, because she had absolutely no filter when stressed. But what, in particular, had worried Nick?

That, she couldn’t say.

Nick looked around, but nobody else was paying attention to them. Julie was talking to the guys over by the stage, phone to her ear. Since the show hadn’t started, there weren’t many other people there; even Ray and Carlos had gone off to get food.

“You said you didn’t think anybody needed you,” he said quietly.

Flynn made a face. Of _course_ they were doing this. As Julie always said, Nick was a sweetheart. He clearly didn’t realise that compulsively checking up on people was _Flynn’s_ thing.

“I know it’s none of my business,” Nick said. “But have you ever talked to Julie about it?”

That, at least, was something Flynn could reassure him with.

“I have,” she said. “And I know I do a lot for her. I have all the plans; I got her this gig; I am, objectively, the world’s best best friend.”

Nick grinned.

Apparently, Flynn was still stressed, because her mouth ran away without her.

“It’s just that I spent my whole life trying to be the best friend I could be,” she admitted. “Especially after it was just Julie and me. I can’t – I can’t _lose_ her.”

She bit her lip, wishing she hadn’t said that. Nick looked at her for a second with big, sad eyes.

“Please forget I said that,” Flynn said. “It’s fine, I’m really fine, just bad thoughts, you know? Everybody has them.”

“Yeah, but you wouldn’t blurt them out to a pretty new friend if they weren’t really bothering you,” Nick said. Flynn couldn’t help but smile at the idea that they were friends. Nice to know her friend type wasn’t limited to Julie and ghosts.

“It’s just that if I said anything to Julie or the gho – the guys,” Flynn corrected herself hastily as a stranger walked by. “They’d only blame themselves. Since it’s the magic ghost stuff,” she added in a whisper. Nick nodded in understanding.

“Well, I’m new to the magic ghost stuff,” he said, equally quietly. Julie started her sound check, and Flynn stepped closer to Nick so they wouldn’t have to raise their voices. “So if you ever want to unload, I’m here for you, ok?”

“No, look, you got possessed, ok?” Flynn protested. “I’m not going to dump all my problems on you like you don’t have any!”

“Then why do you want me to do that to you?” Nick said. Flynn’s mouth hung open as she searched for a response. He was annoyingly good at this.

“So what, we both bottle it up?” Flynn asked.

“Or we both talk about our problems,” Nick said. “It is the obvious solution.”

Flynn stared at Julie, pretending the stage lights were the reason her eyes were watering. Julie caught her gaze and smiled even brighter. Flynn waved.

“I get if you don’t want to open up to me,” Nick said. “We don’t know each other well. I just thought, maybe, it would be a good idea. And… on a selfish note, I could probably use more friends.”

Flynn did like having friends. And she didn’t think she’d get many straight-up offers.

“Ok,” she said. “So I said what’s up with me. What’s up with you?”

“You’re still changing the subject, but I’ll allow it for now,” Nick said. “Apparently, my little sister learned how to tie her shoes while I was _away_. I always helped her with it before, and I don’t know why it changed.”

“Ouch,” Flynn said, which was a very low-key word for a very big deal. “I’m sorry. Did she act weird around you?”

“Kind of,” Nick said. “But I’ve been weird for a while, so I can’t tell why.”

“Usually when Julie says stuff like this, I give her a hug,” Flynn said. It occurred to her that maybe part of the reason she was so bad at making _new_ friends is she never knew how far a new friend was supposed to go. “Do you want one?”

“I could use one, if you could,” Nick admitted. Flynn pulled him in for a quick version of a Flynn Classic, and left her arm around his shoulders when she stepped back.

“I’m sorry you had to take care of me that night,” Nick said as Julie finished her sound check and practically bounced off the stage. Her ghosts distracted her, but Flynn knew it wouldn’t be long before Julie made her way back to Flynn. That was kind of friends they were.

“Nick, you were _not_ gonna make it out alone, that’s such a stupid thing to be sorry for,” Flynn said.

“I know you would rather have helped Julie, though,” Nick said.

“She didn’t need it,” Flynn said absently. For the first time, the thought didn’t hurt. Maybe she’d spent so long expecting the world to be made of Carries who left her and Julies who stayed; it was nice to see that there were other kinds of friends in the world. Other people to depend on, who were willing to depend on Flynn.

“Flynn! You disappeared!” Julie hugged her, and Flynn removed her arm from Nick to hug back. “And Nick! Shouldn’t you be resting?”

He held up his hands defensively, but that didn’t last long as Julie pulled him into a hug.

“I’m free now,” he said. “And it’s been a while since you performed. I wanted to support my friend.”

“Well, my _friends_ get to be over here by the stage,” Julie said. “Come on, this way Willie won’t feel weird and alone when all the guys are up with me.” She grabbed one of Flynn’s hands and one of Nick’s and towed them closer to the stage.

“There you are, Flynn!” Reggie said brightly. Willie, whose arm was wrapped around midair that Flynn was positive was Alex, smiled at her. Julie gave Flynn one last hug before she had to disappear backstage.

“You’re ok, right?” Julie asked her quietly. Flynn smiled. She should have known Julie would catch on to how she’d been feeling earlier.

“I’ve got all my friends with me,” Flynn said. “And my best friend is about to blow everybody away, again. I’m ok.”

It was so nice to say that and mean it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter brought to you by: that one coping mechanism where you help other people cope in order to avoid your own problems. If you thought I projected last chapter, whoo boy, it is even worse in this one!  
> This is kind of wrapping up a character arc for Flynn, though she still has unresolved Carrie feelings which you all know I'm going to explore. I'm very serious about Flynn and Carrie's Excellent Adventure, folks. It's coming soonish.  
> This one went through such a drastic shift from my first draft to now, and I feel weird because she's still not as vulnerable as the other two were? But the way I'm characterising Flynn it honestly wouldn't make sense for her to go as in depth to a close friend, so I hope this still hits that Emotion spot.  
> Last chapter is Willie! With bonus Willex because we deserve it. Also I have my computer back which means writing and posting will be a smoother process and therefore I will probably continue to bust out content at a frankly alarming pace even with the upcoming weirdness of my schedule. Yay!


	4. Willie and Alex

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some things take time to heal, but at least Willie has the space to do it.

It was late when the ghosts arrived back at the Molina household; they’d wandered the city a little longer after the show, visiting old haunts (that joke never got old) and trading stories. It was clear that Alex, Luke, and Reggie had heard each other’s stories a million times over. It was equally clear that they never got tired of it.

Willie wondered, as they rematerialized in the studio, if that could extend to him, too. He almost shut the thought down as being too wild, too much to hope for, and then he remembered: he wasn’t one of Caleb’s anymore. He could hope for whatever he liked.

“So, first Julie and the Phantoms show,” Alex said. “What did you think?”

Willie wondered how long he’d been sitting on _that_ question before he worked up the courage to ask.

“You crushed it,” he said sincerely. “That was… I mean, I’ve seen you play before. But that was next-level, even for you.”

“Even for me?” Alex repeated.

“You have to know you’re insanely good, right?” Willie said. Alex ducked his head sheepishly.

“He’s so bad at taking compliments!” Reggie called from across the studio. Willie didn’t have to look to know that Luke slapped his forehead. “We just have to compliment Alex constantly and hope one gets through.”

“Seriously?” Alex said. He turned back to Willie. “Don’t… just ignore them.”

“Wait, what did I do?” Luke asked. Alex whipped his head around to glare at him, and Willie tried not to laugh.

“I’m willing to compliment you,” he said. “They’d all be true.”

Alex smiled shyly.

“Thanks,” he said.

Willie shifted uncomfortably. He didn’t have to leave. He had nowhere to go to, nowhere else he wanted to be. But everything in him was screaming that he’d been here too long already, that the peace of the night couldn’t last.

“You ok?” Alex said, drawing Willie a little further from Luke and Reggie. “You look… well, you kind of look how I feel most of the time.”

Willie laughed.

“I’m fine,” he said. “Just… still getting used to the fact that I don’t have to leave.”

Alex’s face crumpled with worry.

“Willie,” he said. “I…”

“It’s ok,” Willie said. “I don’t think this is the kind of thing where you say a few words and I’m better. I spent _years_ with Caleb. It’s probably just time.”

“Still,” Alex said. “If there’s anything you want to talk about, please talk to me? Or anybody. We want you to be happy.”

Willie _adored_ how casually the word “we” came out of Alex’s mouth. The way he trusted his bandmates to be on the same page as him, without ever talking about it. Willie could admit to himself, finally, that he wanted to be that secure in a home.

“I am _so_ happy,” Willie said, his voice breaking. He tried to hold back the tears, because that would really mix up his message. “I just don’t feel like I deserve it, yet.”

Alex pulled him in for a hug, and Willie gratefully pressed his nose into the curve of Alex’s neck.

“Of course you do,” Alex said.

“How many people did I hurt, bringing them to Caleb? I introduced him to Dante, and Genevieve,” Willie said into Alex’s shoulder. “It’s my fault they’re stuck there.”

“You didn’t steal their souls,” Alex said quietly. “You trusted Caleb, right? I mean, you didn’t know what he’d do to us. You didn’t know how far he’d go. He betrayed you. You were just…”

“I just didn’t want to be lonely,” Willie admitted. Alex’s arms tightened, and he reached one hand up to cup the back of Willie’s head, turning his head to press his lips against Willie’s hair.

“That’s nothing to be ashamed of,” he whispered. “I’m terrified of that, too.”

“Me being lonely or you?” Willie tried for a laugh.

“Both,” Alex said. He pulled away just enough to look at Willie. “We’ll make it right. Even with this year, even if it takes us years after that. We’ll get them all free of Caleb, and that – _that’s_ something you’ll have done. You didn’t trap them, but you’re the reason they’re going to get free.”

Now Willie really was crying. Alex pulled him close again.

“Is everything ok?” Reggie asked. From the sound of it, he’d come closer to check up on them.

“Getting there,” Willie said, lifting his head to smile at him. Luke was standing just behind Reggie’s shoulder, watching Willie and Alex with a worried expression. “Thanks.”

Reggie lifted his arms.

“Room for a group hug, or is this a boyfriend thing?”

Alex looked at Willie questioningly. He rolled his eyes fondly and pulled one arm away from Alex, opening up the hug.

“I think you guys just like hugs,” Willie said.

“Oh, yeah, totally,” Reggie said, worming his way in.

“Group hugs are kind of our thing at this point,” Luke added as he joined.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaand that's that on this one! Not sure when exactly I'll start up the next fic, but I anticipate it being soon because I'm very excited about it.  
> Unlike the rest of them, Willie's problem isn't so much anxiety thoughts as it is actual habits built from trauma? So he gets less of the "no don't think that" and more of the quiet support  
> Also Reggie and Willie being friends is important to me because I'm quite sure that Reggie constantly wants hugs and that Willie also constantly wants hugs but Will Not Ask for them. It's perfect.


End file.
